Saturday, August 29, 2009

Didn't one of the commenters say this saga was "better than the soaps"...?

...I've never really watched soaps but from what I know of social commentary and stereotypes...I have to say I do see parallels! I feel like having a production crew jacket made with "As The Blog Turns" on it.

So...I'm almost not sure where to even start. This is going to be a long ride and is basically explanatory- no new info about Beccah or anything like that. So if you're curious about what has gone on here in the last week, read on. If not...have fun knitting, or whatever.

First I need to give a readers' digest summary for the people who missed all the "fun".

Side Note:Becky's 'family member' has said he does not want to be associated with her scams or any blogs about her scams, etc. So instead of calling him by name, I will simply be referring to him as "Becky's family member". Some of you have asked me why I am catering to this request given that he put up a blog with my full name, etc...well, I didn't like that blog, and he did take it down pretty quickly. I am just trying to show the same respect that I myself would like to be shown.

A few days ago "Becky's family member" became very incensed at some of the comments. He 'got into it' with several of my regular commenters and was overall in a very poor humor about things. He had asked me to send him the "proof" that it was indeed Beccah who made all of those comments...obviously anyone with common sense knows it was her, but he wanted the cold, hard proof. Because said "proof" was a web usage history report, I was uneasy about displaying it here as I felt it might be considered "private information", etc. I asked him to let me confer with my legal counsel who has always been extremely forthright and honest about what is and is NOT allowed to be posted on a public blog. This was in the afternoon on Tuesday I think, and they told me they'd get back with me by the next morning. Reasonable, I felt. He, however, did not feel that way. My insistence upon waiting for the legal ok combined with the fact that he said he never received a disc of other spreadsheets, pdf files, etc I had sent him, (along with a University of Texas magnet and an 'Upper Room' mini devotional book) made him come to the immediate and certain conclusion that I was a "fraud" and that everything on my blog was "a lie". (Update: the whole reason for my needing to mail this was my lack of a high speed connection out here 'in the country'. However I will be out of town for a few days this week, utilizing the available high speed connection for itunes, etc. If anyone would like this packet of info also referred to previously as my 'proof dossier' of stuff on Beccah, please email me. It's nothing earth shattering in terms of previously unknown information but it does contain detailed info, dates, times, names, phone numbers, etc that I have used to verify or learn certain things I have talked about on the blog. I redacted any of Beccah's personal info so this bundle of crap is now available to anyone who asks for it. I just want to 'leave' on the note of everyone being comfortable with what I posted her as fact as opposed to what I posted as opinion.)

I should backtrack here and point out that when I first started my blog, Brianne Gibson aka "GibsonTwins" (aka the person who cracked the whole AR case wide open) had serious problems with me. She said that I was "in over my head" posting accusations about Beccah which I couldn't back up. I (at the time) figured we would just "agree to disagree". But shortly after I started this blog, I began to get emails...people who had been contacted by GibsonTwins stating that I was "faking my identity" and was only doing this blog for money, that I would be receiving revenue from paid ads. I guess if you want to be technical, I was "faking" an identity. I did not want Beccah to know my real name or location- something I felt and STILL feel is my right. So I used a pseudonym and didn't (and still don't!) think anything was/is wrong with that. Many people maintain personal or family blogs and while some have no qualms about putting names and city information, I personally DO and I should have been respected in that regard. It's not like MY anonymity was akin to "April's Mom"; I wasn't trying to scam anyone or make anyone believe I was someone else...I just wanted to use a pen name.

GibsomTwins, however, was heartily affronted by this, and she put up a website with my photo, full name, certain personal info...I never actually saw the site myself (although sometimes you could have balanced the earth's axis on my moments of temptation toward taking a peek...) as I knew it would just upset me. From what I understand the basic commentary was in a similar vein as her emails about me- that I am a) fat b)"homely" c)stupid and d)apparently my blog is even a worse "fraud" than Beccah's, as Beccah was referred to by GT as a 'former scammer'. (A few people have emailed asking why I took down the one post where I got snippy with GibsonTwins...basically, I decided that as a grown-ass adult, my decision NOT to say those type of things about her [fat, stupid, etc] said just as much about me as her choosing TO say those things said about her.) In the emails that made the rounds this past weed, GT said that she does not visit this site or give a second thought to "all this" as she is a full time student and the mother of twins. As she obviously does not care for me...I say...keep right on walking. You won't here me say this again, but in this one regard we could all stand to be a little more like GT- I have amazed (not in a good way) in my short time as a the venom and vitriol directed toward other bloggers. Some well known, some with just a few seems like there is an ebb and flow of utter hatred toward certain people and I just do not get it. If you don't like a blog...don't use up YOUR time from YOUR life visiting it!

Anyway, so here we are earlier in the week...having already been stung once by emails from you guys alerting me to the site that Gibson had put up about me a couple months ago, I now received a new flood of emails that Beccah's family member had also put one up. This one I DID visit, as I was just so shocked by it. I knew that Brianne Gibson didn't like me; hers was not exactly a surprise. But THIS one...totally floored me. The family member sent an "open letter" to me, only without my knowledge he also sent it to Gibson, a few people that must be from "her" circle because I've never even heard of them, Lorri Steer, A Myers, and several of you readers that had just been unlucky enough to put your email addresses out there. In this email, the family member railed against me, saying that I was just like Beccah, etc etc. Well, the lack of communication between the family member and I got worked out pretty quickly, but multiple emails still flew between this group.

One thing I was utterly shocked by was an email from someone named Donna Albert, whom I have never spoken to, emailed, or heard of in my life...asking people to write to "Down With Trolls" about me, to 'turn me in' to them, etc. This caused me to email DWT myself...asking them if I DID actually do anything considered 'troll-ish'...because I really did want to correct any behaviors that were deemed inappropriate by this respected and well regarded group. They pointed out that I did dangle too many "carrots" without following up -something I freely admit and wish I'd done differently now- but said that I am in no way a "troll"-- I have asked them for permission to display their email here and if I receive that permission, I will edit this post and put that email here)

So by now I've spent hours furiously typing emails, wanting to smack my head against the desk...I could not BELIEVE that I had somehow gotten to a point where I was spending more time trying to prove that I WASN'T a troll than I was spending time trying to prove that Beccah WAS one.

That realization right there was the impetus for me to seriously consider closing up shop. Lorri Steer has an excellent record of what has transpired, and she had even offered to "buy" my posts for a penny so that the best bits of this endeavor could even be displayed past this blog's closing. (OMG, I just admitted making money off this blog!!! Don't worry, I won't spend it all in one wishing well...)

So now we're mid-week and I've made the decision to close down this blog. Previously I'd been tempted to close it down when GibsonTwins put up her site about me...I just thought "I did not sign ON for all this junk!" but one of my favorite people (tinyarmada) helped convince me that there WAS a need for a blog like this and I'm so glad she did. I think over the last couple of months a good handful of people have become aware of MOs like Beccah's and now they can be more acutely aware of things like the "April Rose" scam. Dozens of blog owners were able to "disinfect" their blogs of Becky's exploitive, dishonest comments...and many of you found a place to vent your frustrations about this whole thing. I believe that Beccah does not know or care about the long-reaching implications of the April Rose scam. Having never lost a baby herself, she has no idea how so many of you feel; I have gotten so many emails and even some comments from women who poured their hearts out to "B" regarding their own Trisomy or other losses...and when "B" never responded, they figured she was too busy being all emotionally pregnant with a terminally ill child. NOW they know she was just pimping more traffic to her site and taking up valuable volunteer services meant for REAL grieving mothers. And if even ONE of those mothers found some comfort here from knowing that "B" did have some consequence from treating them this way...however small...then all this time and trouble was well worth it.

I am still going to put up a "synopsis" post, which will be the last thing displayed here and will stay at the "top" of posts...but since this is kind of my own personal ramble, I wanted to veer off onto my own personal direction for a bit.

In the comments on my post where I announced the closing of this blog, many of you were kind enough to say that if I DID have a personal blog, you would read it. As I said before, I realized via this endeavor that I like blogging, and I'm good at it. I have had to work when writing this blog to refrain from talking about political and social issues of the day, new items, pop culture references, is going to be great to have my own constraint-free space to talk about whatever I want.

Because I really do love birdwatching.

And not having to worry about trying to get these blog posts finished or up in a timely fashion...has been great. I have gotten so much done in the last few days...

(here is where you'll REALLY stop reading if you only come here for beccah crap)

Some photos from my adventures, travels, observations, and chores these past few days- Sorry for the "MTOAR" watermark on each photo...I am still learning about digital watermarks.

Moving on! Without the constraints of the blog tying me down, I didn't have to stay up

I caught not one but two incredible sunrises-

When I see these, I love living out in the country. Having to go "to town" just to get to HEB for diet cokes and not being able to get ANY kind of high speed internet access even seems worth it when I look at beauty such as this.

I took THIS cute, furry girl... get a new hairdo:

Because of the time she spent on the street in the cold before she was rescued, she has permanent frostbite on her paw pads, so the regular dog groomer is out. She has to go to the vet, where I have to spend $45 extra so they can give her doggie vallium. But grooming is a must...out here where we live, ticks are everywhere. Anyway, how cute is she?! I totally love my (not so) furry girl.

I even picked up my paintbrush, which I haven't done in weeks. Yes, I paint! I'm no *coughcough* Beccah Beushausen...but I could hold my own in a gallery of third grade art class paintings:

Yellow Rose of Texas...I love looking through the Flickr flower groups and picking stuff to paint.

Did this portrait of Stevie for my mom's office. (She has been asking for one for ages)

Thanks to a killer sale on frames at Walmart, I framed both in 11x14 frames as soon as they were dry enough.

I resumed my birdwatching perch (which had been mostly vacant while I worked on this blog) and right away saw some of my faves:

This is one of my favorite cardinals. Yes, I'm going to admit I name my favorite, most frequent visitors. Everyone, Sir. Sir, Everyone:

What's up, homebirds?!?

Sir is very, very cute. Sometimes his little red fauxhawk sticks way up and sometimes it looks like his flew through the dippity do:

Sometimes he (left) gets really jealous and standoffish if another male cardinal shows up at the trough. (Yes, I made them a trough) He routinely engages in 10-15 minute staring contests.

He has a very expressive face for a bird...

And twice now he has participated in a behavior that was so interesting for a wild bird, I actually emailed some ornithological experts to see if it was normal for a wild cardinal to... on your shoulder, and then jump into your hand (or your husband's hand, should your hands be occupied by a camera, trying frantically to capture the event) Twice!
(Answer: not unheard of...there is occasionally a tame cardinal that just seems to 'happen')

Some of the birds that have been around this week are a little plainer than the bright red Sir...but they can still manage to get noticed:

One of my best finds this morning was a mockingbird! It kept screeching, making very "mad" noises...and I realized I was too close to the nest. So I put on my 75-300 lens and stepped back about 15 yards. I was thrilled to catch him/her with the bright green caterpillar!

Mmmm...tastes like chicken! Hey, wait...

Screeching to "warn" me away from the nest.

So I put on my longer lens and backed away...right after sneaking ONE (or possibly 16, I forget) quick photo of the beh-behs...

I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to catch more than one hummingbird not just flitting around the feeder...but actually sitting stock still, letting me harass them with my was one of my best birdwatching experiences yet. I never knew their tongues looked so...filamentary- almost like fishing line!

Look at that gorgeous iridescent green color...

Look, can you see its tongue sticking out?

I know it's hard to tell from this photo, the body of this bird was actually about the size of my pinkie finger! It was so, so tiny- even by hummingbird standards. you see that a full, rich life was just waiting for me to give up on the MTOAR blog. I still believe there needs to be a clear and concise record of Rebeccah Rose Beushausen's scams and frauds up to, during, and after the April Rose fraud. Thankfully, Lorri Steer's blog does an excellent job of this.

As I mentioned above, I am going to leave up a "synopsis" post as the closer on this blog. I am also going to start my personal blog at some point this weekend, I think. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me in that regard.

Hope you enjoyed my photos... : )


The Rowe Family said...

LOVE IT!!!! What kind of camera do you have? The bird photos are AMAZING! Can't wait to read your personal blog and so happy that you're getting back to a great life, who needs this grief :)!?!? Emily

Robin in New Jersey said...

Why isn't Lori getting attacked? Why just you?

Anonymous said...

I am a long time lurker/follower of your blog, and I just wanted to say I think you have done a great job! I will definitely want to follow any blog you are writing. Thanks for putting in so much time, energy, and careful thought into this blog. I followed the whole AR as well, and you did a great job showing how deep of a scam artist she actually is.

Sad to see this blog go, but you did great work. Can't wait to see what you have coming up next! Your photos are awesome!


EJ said...

Rowe Fam-

Ugh...I just wrote you the longest response and somehow blogger ate it :-(

Will retype later- just wanted to let you know your new photos are unbelievable- totally gorgeous! I am so happy and excited for you!

Just Me said...

While this is an embarrassing fact about me, I am afraid of birds. I had a frightening experience as a child and have never liked them since. I love my mother's fascination with them and can name a number of them because of her, but I don't even like those glass aviaries that many nursing homes have. This was only enhanced last year by someone donating a canary to the nursing home and having the unfortunate experience (along with many residents) of watching the canary kill the other birds, during meals and social events.

However, I love your cardinal. He is as expressive as my pets.

Also, neither of "those people" know what they are talking about. Just so you know that.

Glad you are enjoying life.

Lorri said...

I believe I offered you a whole dollar, but a penny is fine too :)

I'll look forward to your new blog as well!

The Rowe Family said...

THANKS!!!!!! I forgot (because I was in bad need of a nap when I read your last post) but that puppy is to die for :)! Love the paintings too - I have zero artistic creativity. I really can't wait for your new personal blog and to learn more about you. I feel a sense of PEACE for you already, it's wonderful :)!

EJ said...

Robin- not sure but I would guess it's due to her never using a pen name, never had any opinion based parts to her blog, and didn't start her blog until weeks after things had 'died down'; etc.

Or it could be due to the fact that she is the best lady on earth...who knows! ; )

the story of us said...

great pictures! :)
and i am SO HAPPY for you!
it truly IS time to move on! :)

amyengle said...

Looking forward to your new blog - love the birds and puppy dog!!!

I agree with Emily, you don't need or deserve all that stress! Enjoy the things that matter to you!!

Threeblacklabs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frapper said...

Your pictures are amazing! You do need your own blog where you can post these. I like your paintings as well; no wonder you'd like more time to pursue personal interests. I think this blog though was well thought out and presented enough info that other people will be able to draw their own impressions of how much Beccah's scams hurt other people & hopefully be alert to any more such activity. I'm so sorry that you had such an unpleasant experience at the end with Becky's family member, but I'm glad you got it all straightened out. I wish you much happiness as you return full time to "family life" and do let us know if you start up a new blog--would love to keep reading what you write!

Jamie said...

I doubt that my comment will be published because I get the feeling you're mad at me, and you have every right to be. Tonight I feel foolish, and I'm sure you know why.


I wish I had known all of this days ago. I feel bad that someone who is older than a high schooler, especially people in higher education like Brianne or Beccah's family member would stoop so low as to make a hate site to a person who essentially did nothing wrong to them.

I have had people make hate sites about me and it sucks. Plain and simple.

I am sorry for assuming you were Beccah or were doing something sinister in all of this. I have to admit I've wanted to take you and shake you by the shoulders and say, "If you don't have the time to post about this, turn it over to someone else!" with a smile, because I admit, I thought the "stay tuned" posts were ploys to get more hits. I know that's because I am a writer by heart and writing comes so easy to me, so I assume it is the same for others. What can I say? I'm human. I made an error.

I'd love to have your blog link, and I welcome anyone else here to visit my blog (Beccah family members not included) regularly. But I can understand it if they'd rather not to.

Ambitious Blonde said...

EJ, if you are interested in giving me the address for your new blog, I'd love to have it! You can email it to me if you wish. If not, I'll miss reading you. You're an awesome lady. :)

EJ said...

Like I said in email...not not NOT mad at ALL! I'm not sure if you saw my comment stating that you were a much better woman than I; I simply don't know how I would cope with people attacking little pogo's memory AND wishing horrible, inhumanely cruel things about me...

Seeing what YOU deal with makes me feel like a major wuss for throwing in the towel. BUT at the same time, you help me realize better than anyone that life is indeed too short.

EJ said...

Blonde, what a sweetheart you are. Thank you so much : )

grammie02 said...

Dear EJ,
Wonderful photos! And I admire anyone who can draw and paint. My husband is an artist and I was so in awe of his talent that I married him. If you would like, I'd enjoy following your blog, too. You could send the link to my e-mail. Thanks again for all your hard work.

Nicole said...

I've been readinglurking here for months, but comment rarely if at all. I can't even remember how I ended up here, but clearly it was after AR blew up. You did an incredible job of giving those of us duped by her clarity. I would loev to read your writing if you start another blog, would you be able to email me a link?

EJ said...

I will post the blog address here, don't worry : .)

Indianagramma said...

You are full of surprises! You're a great photograper and you're also a very good artist. Who knew? :-)

I like your tame cardinal too. He's got personality!

I had a robin this year that did something out of character for robins. It would eat nuts from my nut feeder. It just looked strange to see a robin hanging onto the nut feeder. Then it brought it's "baby" around. The juvenile would sit on the ground under the nut feeder while the momma would pick a nut out to stuff down it's throat.

I'm thinking this new blog will probably be even more interesting than the AR blog - in a good way! The AR blog was interesting enough but more in a -gasp-how-could-Becca-actually-do-that?! way.

Jamie said...

I want to touch on something here since I now read in-depth of what happened--

Why is it that someone thinks another person's investigations are null and void if the investigator is fat or unattractive (by their standards)? Going by that logic, the entire police force here would have to be replaced by underwear models!

What kind of a person is shallow enough to care what someone looks like on the outside?

I'd rather have a fat body than a fat head, and I'd rather have an unattractive appearance that an unattractive attitude any day!

*dropping by for the daily love!*

Sarah said...

Hey, I just wanted to say that you are not alone int being disliked by GT. I was part of a forum that came together in the aftermath of the AR story breaking, but after I posted an "I don't hate MckMama" post, (in response to so much hatred being sent her way) I was banned from the forum. And it wasn't even an anti-Mck spot, it was solely an AR forum! Anyway, you have done a lot of good work here... don't let "them" get to you. :)

EJ said...

Jamie...have I mentioned this week that you are ah-some and I totally luuuuurve you???

Well, you are.

And, I do!

Sarah...I always hoped that GT would realize my "faking identity" was truly born of a desire to keep myself and my family safe from beccah and anyone LIKE beccah. But of course I had to come to the realization that sometimes people simply do NOT like you...and you can spend time wishing it wasn't so or trying to change their mind...knowing in your heart it will be time wasted...or you can move on and be thankful for the people who DO know you and appreciate you for who you are.

I have always felt that however anyone felt about mckmama, the AR thing should NOT have turned into a 'we hate mck' party. It seemed like the axis on which the tide turned regarding Jennifer was when she went on GMA to talk about AR. Everyone started raising hell on a stick about how Mck said she was 'done' but then went on tv...and what people don't get is that she went on because NONE of the 'main players' would go on. Gibson wouldn't, 'nobody' aka Elizabeth Russell wouldn't...the meyers definitely wouldn't- nor would beccah herself or anyone from her family.
While I may not agree with everything Mck says or THIS regard...if SHE hadn't been willing to go on, the story probably wouldn't have aired at all and beccah would have had literally no consequences for preying on millions of people with nothing but honorable and sincere intentions toward her.

Whatever people think of Mck, they ought to give her a break on that one.

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

I grow so tired of catty women who apparently never left junior high school. They are an embarrassment to my sex.

You, EJ , are a grown up, and I so much prefer to read the writings of grown ups over those of catty child women.

Thanks for the work you have done here, and I look forward to reading your next blog.