Saturday, August 29, 2009

Didn't one of the commenters say this saga was "better than the soaps"...?

...I've never really watched soaps but from what I know of social commentary and stereotypes...I have to say I do see parallels! I feel like having a production crew jacket made with "As The Blog Turns" on it.

So...I'm almost not sure where to even start. This is going to be a long ride and is basically explanatory- no new info about Beccah or anything like that. So if you're curious about what has gone on here in the last week, read on. If not...have fun knitting, or whatever.

First I need to give a readers' digest summary for the people who missed all the "fun".

Side Note:Becky's 'family member' has said he does not want to be associated with her scams or any blogs about her scams, etc. So instead of calling him by name, I will simply be referring to him as "Becky's family member". Some of you have asked me why I am catering to this request given that he put up a blog with my full name, etc...well, I didn't like that blog, and he did take it down pretty quickly. I am just trying to show the same respect that I myself would like to be shown.

A few days ago "Becky's family member" became very incensed at some of the comments. He 'got into it' with several of my regular commenters and was overall in a very poor humor about things. He had asked me to send him the "proof" that it was indeed Beccah who made all of those comments...obviously anyone with common sense knows it was her, but he wanted the cold, hard proof. Because said "proof" was a web usage history report, I was uneasy about displaying it here as I felt it might be considered "private information", etc. I asked him to let me confer with my legal counsel who has always been extremely forthright and honest about what is and is NOT allowed to be posted on a public blog. This was in the afternoon on Tuesday I think, and they told me they'd get back with me by the next morning. Reasonable, I felt. He, however, did not feel that way. My insistence upon waiting for the legal ok combined with the fact that he said he never received a disc of other spreadsheets, pdf files, etc I had sent him, (along with a University of Texas magnet and an 'Upper Room' mini devotional book) made him come to the immediate and certain conclusion that I was a "fraud" and that everything on my blog was "a lie". (Update: the whole reason for my needing to mail this was my lack of a high speed connection out here 'in the country'. However I will be out of town for a few days this week, utilizing the available high speed connection for itunes, etc. If anyone would like this packet of info also referred to previously as my 'proof dossier' of stuff on Beccah, please email me. It's nothing earth shattering in terms of previously unknown information but it does contain detailed info, dates, times, names, phone numbers, etc that I have used to verify or learn certain things I have talked about on the blog. I redacted any of Beccah's personal info so this bundle of crap is now available to anyone who asks for it. I just want to 'leave' on the note of everyone being comfortable with what I posted her as fact as opposed to what I posted as opinion.)

I should backtrack here and point out that when I first started my blog, Brianne Gibson aka "GibsonTwins" (aka the person who cracked the whole AR case wide open) had serious problems with me. She said that I was "in over my head" posting accusations about Beccah which I couldn't back up. I (at the time) figured we would just "agree to disagree". But shortly after I started this blog, I began to get emails...people who had been contacted by GibsonTwins stating that I was "faking my identity" and was only doing this blog for money, that I would be receiving revenue from paid ads. I guess if you want to be technical, I was "faking" an identity. I did not want Beccah to know my real name or location- something I felt and STILL feel is my right. So I used a pseudonym and didn't (and still don't!) think anything was/is wrong with that. Many people maintain personal or family blogs and while some have no qualms about putting names and city information, I personally DO and I should have been respected in that regard. It's not like MY anonymity was akin to "April's Mom"; I wasn't trying to scam anyone or make anyone believe I was someone else...I just wanted to use a pen name.

GibsomTwins, however, was heartily affronted by this, and she put up a website with my photo, full name, certain personal info...I never actually saw the site myself (although sometimes you could have balanced the earth's axis on my moments of temptation toward taking a peek...) as I knew it would just upset me. From what I understand the basic commentary was in a similar vein as her emails about me- that I am a) fat b)"homely" c)stupid and d)apparently my blog is even a worse "fraud" than Beccah's, as Beccah was referred to by GT as a 'former scammer'. (A few people have emailed asking why I took down the one post where I got snippy with GibsonTwins...basically, I decided that as a grown-ass adult, my decision NOT to say those type of things about her [fat, stupid, etc] said just as much about me as her choosing TO say those things said about her.) In the emails that made the rounds this past weed, GT said that she does not visit this site or give a second thought to "all this" as she is a full time student and the mother of twins. As she obviously does not care for me...I say...keep right on walking. You won't here me say this again, but in this one regard we could all stand to be a little more like GT- I have amazed (not in a good way) in my short time as a the venom and vitriol directed toward other bloggers. Some well known, some with just a few seems like there is an ebb and flow of utter hatred toward certain people and I just do not get it. If you don't like a blog...don't use up YOUR time from YOUR life visiting it!

Anyway, so here we are earlier in the week...having already been stung once by emails from you guys alerting me to the site that Gibson had put up about me a couple months ago, I now received a new flood of emails that Beccah's family member had also put one up. This one I DID visit, as I was just so shocked by it. I knew that Brianne Gibson didn't like me; hers was not exactly a surprise. But THIS one...totally floored me. The family member sent an "open letter" to me, only without my knowledge he also sent it to Gibson, a few people that must be from "her" circle because I've never even heard of them, Lorri Steer, A Myers, and several of you readers that had just been unlucky enough to put your email addresses out there. In this email, the family member railed against me, saying that I was just like Beccah, etc etc. Well, the lack of communication between the family member and I got worked out pretty quickly, but multiple emails still flew between this group.

One thing I was utterly shocked by was an email from someone named Donna Albert, whom I have never spoken to, emailed, or heard of in my life...asking people to write to "Down With Trolls" about me, to 'turn me in' to them, etc. This caused me to email DWT myself...asking them if I DID actually do anything considered 'troll-ish'...because I really did want to correct any behaviors that were deemed inappropriate by this respected and well regarded group. They pointed out that I did dangle too many "carrots" without following up -something I freely admit and wish I'd done differently now- but said that I am in no way a "troll"-- I have asked them for permission to display their email here and if I receive that permission, I will edit this post and put that email here)

So by now I've spent hours furiously typing emails, wanting to smack my head against the desk...I could not BELIEVE that I had somehow gotten to a point where I was spending more time trying to prove that I WASN'T a troll than I was spending time trying to prove that Beccah WAS one.

That realization right there was the impetus for me to seriously consider closing up shop. Lorri Steer has an excellent record of what has transpired, and she had even offered to "buy" my posts for a penny so that the best bits of this endeavor could even be displayed past this blog's closing. (OMG, I just admitted making money off this blog!!! Don't worry, I won't spend it all in one wishing well...)

So now we're mid-week and I've made the decision to close down this blog. Previously I'd been tempted to close it down when GibsonTwins put up her site about me...I just thought "I did not sign ON for all this junk!" but one of my favorite people (tinyarmada) helped convince me that there WAS a need for a blog like this and I'm so glad she did. I think over the last couple of months a good handful of people have become aware of MOs like Beccah's and now they can be more acutely aware of things like the "April Rose" scam. Dozens of blog owners were able to "disinfect" their blogs of Becky's exploitive, dishonest comments...and many of you found a place to vent your frustrations about this whole thing. I believe that Beccah does not know or care about the long-reaching implications of the April Rose scam. Having never lost a baby herself, she has no idea how so many of you feel; I have gotten so many emails and even some comments from women who poured their hearts out to "B" regarding their own Trisomy or other losses...and when "B" never responded, they figured she was too busy being all emotionally pregnant with a terminally ill child. NOW they know she was just pimping more traffic to her site and taking up valuable volunteer services meant for REAL grieving mothers. And if even ONE of those mothers found some comfort here from knowing that "B" did have some consequence from treating them this way...however small...then all this time and trouble was well worth it.

I am still going to put up a "synopsis" post, which will be the last thing displayed here and will stay at the "top" of posts...but since this is kind of my own personal ramble, I wanted to veer off onto my own personal direction for a bit.

In the comments on my post where I announced the closing of this blog, many of you were kind enough to say that if I DID have a personal blog, you would read it. As I said before, I realized via this endeavor that I like blogging, and I'm good at it. I have had to work when writing this blog to refrain from talking about political and social issues of the day, new items, pop culture references, is going to be great to have my own constraint-free space to talk about whatever I want.

Because I really do love birdwatching.

And not having to worry about trying to get these blog posts finished or up in a timely fashion...has been great. I have gotten so much done in the last few days...

(here is where you'll REALLY stop reading if you only come here for beccah crap)

Some photos from my adventures, travels, observations, and chores these past few days- Sorry for the "MTOAR" watermark on each photo...I am still learning about digital watermarks.

Moving on! Without the constraints of the blog tying me down, I didn't have to stay up

I caught not one but two incredible sunrises-

When I see these, I love living out in the country. Having to go "to town" just to get to HEB for diet cokes and not being able to get ANY kind of high speed internet access even seems worth it when I look at beauty such as this.

I took THIS cute, furry girl... get a new hairdo:

Because of the time she spent on the street in the cold before she was rescued, she has permanent frostbite on her paw pads, so the regular dog groomer is out. She has to go to the vet, where I have to spend $45 extra so they can give her doggie vallium. But grooming is a must...out here where we live, ticks are everywhere. Anyway, how cute is she?! I totally love my (not so) furry girl.

I even picked up my paintbrush, which I haven't done in weeks. Yes, I paint! I'm no *coughcough* Beccah Beushausen...but I could hold my own in a gallery of third grade art class paintings:

Yellow Rose of Texas...I love looking through the Flickr flower groups and picking stuff to paint.

Did this portrait of Stevie for my mom's office. (She has been asking for one for ages)

Thanks to a killer sale on frames at Walmart, I framed both in 11x14 frames as soon as they were dry enough.

I resumed my birdwatching perch (which had been mostly vacant while I worked on this blog) and right away saw some of my faves:

This is one of my favorite cardinals. Yes, I'm going to admit I name my favorite, most frequent visitors. Everyone, Sir. Sir, Everyone:

What's up, homebirds?!?

Sir is very, very cute. Sometimes his little red fauxhawk sticks way up and sometimes it looks like his flew through the dippity do:

Sometimes he (left) gets really jealous and standoffish if another male cardinal shows up at the trough. (Yes, I made them a trough) He routinely engages in 10-15 minute staring contests.

He has a very expressive face for a bird...

And twice now he has participated in a behavior that was so interesting for a wild bird, I actually emailed some ornithological experts to see if it was normal for a wild cardinal to... on your shoulder, and then jump into your hand (or your husband's hand, should your hands be occupied by a camera, trying frantically to capture the event) Twice!
(Answer: not unheard of...there is occasionally a tame cardinal that just seems to 'happen')

Some of the birds that have been around this week are a little plainer than the bright red Sir...but they can still manage to get noticed:

One of my best finds this morning was a mockingbird! It kept screeching, making very "mad" noises...and I realized I was too close to the nest. So I put on my 75-300 lens and stepped back about 15 yards. I was thrilled to catch him/her with the bright green caterpillar!

Mmmm...tastes like chicken! Hey, wait...

Screeching to "warn" me away from the nest.

So I put on my longer lens and backed away...right after sneaking ONE (or possibly 16, I forget) quick photo of the beh-behs...

I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to catch more than one hummingbird not just flitting around the feeder...but actually sitting stock still, letting me harass them with my was one of my best birdwatching experiences yet. I never knew their tongues looked so...filamentary- almost like fishing line!

Look at that gorgeous iridescent green color...

Look, can you see its tongue sticking out?

I know it's hard to tell from this photo, the body of this bird was actually about the size of my pinkie finger! It was so, so tiny- even by hummingbird standards. you see that a full, rich life was just waiting for me to give up on the MTOAR blog. I still believe there needs to be a clear and concise record of Rebeccah Rose Beushausen's scams and frauds up to, during, and after the April Rose fraud. Thankfully, Lorri Steer's blog does an excellent job of this.

As I mentioned above, I am going to leave up a "synopsis" post as the closer on this blog. I am also going to start my personal blog at some point this weekend, I think. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me in that regard.

Hope you enjoyed my photos... : )

Friday, August 28, 2009

Tech Support

Does anyone know how to make a blog entry with what I think is called a "cut"?

For instance, I would have this:

If you want to read about how and why this blog was started, click HERE.

If you want to read about how and why this blog was stopped, click HERE.

If you want to read a general timeline and my closing thoughts on the Rebeccah Beushausen/April Rose blog scam, click HERE.

Is there a way to do this? I've not been blogging too long and I know there are probably a million ins and outs of this site which I haven't figured out...but I am hoping this is possible. I have been hard at work on my "final post" and there is just so much to it...I'd like to split it up into parts but not do separate posts, if I can avoid it.

Any help via comments or email would be very appreciated.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Working on post...

Hi everyone, I am getting so many emails/comments about when I will post, if I will leave up old posts, I wanted to explain just a couple of things:

First off, I have NOT been threatened in any way! A few people have actually asked me if Beccah or someone in her family 'forced' me to discontinue my blog! Please, please, please understand and believe me when I say that while I generally give Beccah ZERO credit...she did not threaten to harm me in any way, threaten to come and kidnap my first (re)born, etc. I made this choice on my own, of my own free well.

I am working on a post explaining to those who "missed the fun" what happened, and also just have a general record of things. I DO plan on leaving some posts up, I just haven't decided which ones or how I am going to organize/present them.

Please do not mention "Becky's Uncle" by name in your comments. It will enable me to approve your comment since he asked not to be mentioned by name. I appreciate the gesture, even if you're rolling your eyes and sighing as you comply. : )

More soon...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Roller Coaster

Edited to add:
If your comment hasn't appeared yet, don't worry. I have a lot of comments to post, and a few of them are such that I want to have replies posted right away, so I will post the comments AND the responses at the same time.
Also...someone said it in jest but apparently at least one person thought there might be something to it so I'll come RIGHT out and say it:

I am most certainly, definitely, categorically, am absolutely, one hundred percent, NOT, I repeat, NOT Beccah.
(if only...then people could hassle HER instead of me)

Also...I probably WILL leave certain posts and/or timelines up...I just want to edit/condense first.

Original Post:
A lot has happened over the last twenty-four hours. I learned that people I've never even heard of have an extremely avid hatred for me, that people whom I have never spoken to or emailed with have been trying to get "Down With Trolls" to do an entry on ME, because they believe that my having THIS blog is somehow worse than what Beccah did. There are people INSISTING that this is somehow a money making venture for me- although since I've never had a single ad and said from the beginning that I never WOULD have ads, I don't know how someone could plausibly think such a thing. I've never once promoted the site or left a link anywhere- ever. I've got people starting and ending their arguments against me by saying that I am fat, ugly, and stupid. (and believe it or not, these things were said outside a schoolyard) I've got people saying that I comment on this blog under "aliases" to "stir things up". (Note: DO NOT NEED HELP STIRRING THINGS UP HERE.) This despite the fact that I disallowed anonymous comments from day one and have never commented here under any name but ejsaddler, ever.

I saw a very pointed, outraged sounding email (from someone I have never heard of before now) who said that all I was ever trying to do was "drive traffic" here. Why? I haven't even had a hit counter on this blog in awhile because I didn't give a crap on a ritz how many people came here or didn't come here. I do have a traffic logger, but only for interest's sake- it's neat seeing different country names, etc. The traffic logger records only 500 people a day- doesn't matter how many over/above that visit. Why would I have "driven traffic" here if there wasn't even a way for me to tell HOW much of it WAS here?! I am just gobsmacked that these are the things people think.

All I wanted was a place to vent my own frustrations and observations. How on earth did it get to the point I described above?

No matter what happens, I know that the intentions I had when I started this blog- to have a complete-as-is-possible record of Beccah's scams in order to warn future victims of hers and let past ones know they aren't alone- are the same intentions I kept all the way through. Yes, sometimes I made snarky remarks or jokes at Beccah's expense. Considering what she did and continues to do, I think she should shout from the rooftops in gratitude that snarky jokes are all she had to deal with.

I had an epiphanal moment last night: my in laws were hosting a family poker night and I kept skulking off to see what the latest turn of drama was via my emailbox. At a moment when I could hear everyone in the front room laughing and enjoying each other...and I was off in the library reading my iphone...I realized "this is crazy...WHY am I giving this one more iota of my time and attention?!?

Today someone emailed me this and it sealed the deal:
Maybe it's time to get your life back. I am not trying to discourage you... but Beccah's not worth this much trouble. She really isn't. She's a worthless, meaningless person. And maybe she'll think she's won? but she hasn't. You have a nice life to go back to. She's got nothing but her miserable self to go back to. And she'll miss the attention!

I have always said that if Beccah would own up to using the aliases, sending the dog flier, etc that I would take this blog down. Now I realize that Beccah is not going to come clean regarding those things. But she knows she did them and I know she did them and you know it. Her refusal to own up to these things should not cause me to lose valuable time in my own life.

Is this the end of my tenure as a blogger? Probably not. I've discovered both that I like it and am decent at it. But is this the end of me blogging about Beccah? At least for a long, long while.

Did y'all know I'm an avid birdwatcher? (no laughs from the bleachers, please.) That I am passionate about politics? You probably did not know those things...because there is no room for "self" in a blog like this...and there is no room in life right now for a pursuit that leaves so little room for me as a person.

I have to say...some of you, the readers...have been just amazing. Maria, Lorri, Aimee M, Michal, Natalie, Jamie, Frapper, indiangrandma, Robin NJ, MamaO, Jennifer, Grammie02, Rowe Family, Amy...and SO MANY MORE- please don't be upset if I didn't name you; I am trying to dash this off in a hurry because TONIGHT's family meal will not be interrupted by this blog.

I will probably do a better, more detailed "final post" in the next day or two. But I did want to briefly explain what was going on so that I didn't leave just an empty blog with no posts.

This blog began with my feeling a responsibility to people like the Myers, people like the couple who believed their "daughter" that Beccah was "pregnant with" died, people whom, in the midst of the AR scam, poured out their hearts to "B" via their own stories about Trisomy babies and traumatic prenatal diagnoses. I felt that if ONE person was warned ahead of time about Beccah and escaped being caught up in her web, the effort was worth it.

I still feel a responsibility to those people. I just realize that Beccah is just too big a job for one person.

As always, I encourage anyone wanting to know intricate, chronological, and verifiably truthful information about Beccah to visit Lorri Steer at Tell The Church-